I have finally come to terms with my horrible actions and the deceit that has bestowed upon me from a man I felt myself falling in love with and can, with confidence, say that I admired and adored. Our last encounter left me questioning my integrity, my judgement of character of others and my future. This entry will more than likely end up lengthy as I have a lot to say.
Maybe I shouldn’t, though. I should be putting my energy somewhere else.
Matt and I may seem like a perfect match, like we’re meant to be. But that doesn’t mean it has to happen. And right now, I don’t think a decision can be made. I’m torn, and even though I’m tired of not being in the know, I think it’s best if I avoid making any crucial decisions.
I need to spend some time alone. I need to think. I’m also done expecting things to change for the better overnight. I’m not sure that they will. For now, another escape is exactly what I need.