Have you ever woken up convinced with every cell in your body that you’ve committed a murder?
A lot of times, strong negative emotions manifest in my dreams in surprising ways. But when these hostile feelings are externalized and acted on in my daily life, it’s entirely different. I can’t remember what exactly happened last night. All I remember is the fact I was wandering late in an unknown street, inappropriately dressed and barefoot, with a knife in hand. Everything felt like it was moving at a weird pace, and my perception was all blurred out. I don’t have a history of sleepwalking, and it couldn’t have been a dream because it felt so real.
I’m convinced I’ve killed someone. Yet, I couldn’t find any evidence of whether I did it or not when I woke up this morning. There was no blood on my clothes or hands and the knife I used to commit the crime is nowhere to be seen. It’s like I was there and I wasn’t there. It’s like I did it and I didn’t do it. I think I’m on the verge of losing my mind.