I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter instead of sending one electronically. I guess it’s a way for me to make the words count, not to mention the fact I thought you’d appreciate the gesture more.
Paris is beautiful; I love it. That said, some nights can get lonely. I’m still acquainting myself with my surroundings. Besides going to school and doing modeling jobs, all I do is venture out on my own and embrace the art and architecture the city offers. I recently made it to the Louvre and was blown away by its magnificence. Then of course, there’s the Eiffel Tower. It would’ve been nice to have you around to share those special moments with.
I’m getting ahead of myself, so I’ll just tell you what I’ve been wanting to say for a while now. I miss you; I think about you all the time. I’m disappointed we couldn’t share a proper goodbye. It’s hard to accept the fact that our paths may never cross again, at least not in a long time. I just hope that you’re happy out there, and that you have friends who look after you. I’m still trying to find someone here I can share my time with. I feel like a wallflower. It’s ironic how moving to another city can isolate you; I’ve never felt this alone before. Back in Freiburg, we couldn’t keep up with everyone and everything that’s been going on. I guess it’s times like these that make us question who the people who care about us really are. Certainly no one from school makes the list. No one but you. I’m not sure why I think that way. I want to believe we were close although I don’t remember you sharing much of yourself with me or anyone else. Now that I think about it, I think the distance you’ve kept was a way for you to protect yourself from the repercussions in case things went amiss. And they did.
I remember the day we first met. I had just been admitted at Palmerston, and we were both exiting the school grounds after meeting with Mr. Schröder. We made a brief eye contact, but at that point, we were still complete strangers. Then we became acquaintances during the first few weeks of school, when all of us newbies gathered around this one spot and found comfort in conversing with each other since everyone else was treating us like outsiders. Then we became friends. Then the best of friends. But apparently, just like every empire, our decline started right after our friendship reached its peak. I know how much you liked Simon, and I admit I should’ve handled our relationship differently. I was just so caught up with Stephen and was too immature to handle the situation rightfully. I didn’t know better than to avoid conflict and face either of you with the truth. I resent myself for doing the things I did. I know the hurt I’ve caused can’t be undone even though we’re on good terms now. But that doesn’t count since we’re not around each other anymore. And so here I am, left with nothing but memories of our time together. I’m hopeful, though. We’re young, and our lives are just starting. I truly believe that some day we’ll get our friendship back. Just wait and see.
Your Forever Best Friend