July 5, 2014

Showing up at Hilda’s party was mainly to remind people that I existed. I haven’t been out much after graduation, so it was a good way for me to reconnect with some friends from school. When I got there, everyone was gathered in the living room, around a small coffee table; they were having shots and I joined. I complimented Claudia on her dress when she came in giggling while holding some random guy’s hand. She smiled and kept on going. I stood motionless for a while, watching everyone act stupid until my eyes were automatically set on this one girl. I don’t recall seeing her before. She stood alone in a corner. She was already looking at me when I saw her. She kept making eye contact which I thought was weird and intimidating. Hilda interrupted the moment when she came up to me and dragged me to the kitchen. She poured me a drink and asked about my college plans. I told her I was considering photography and she revealed she’ll be going away to Paris to study business and do modeling on the side.

Fast forward into the night, I’m suddenly awake on the floor with the worst hangover of my life. I was so confused I almost didn’t recognize where I was. The whole living room was filled with smoke it felt like a mist has taken over the entire house. I knew something unusual had happened to me because I know for sure all I had were a couple of drinks only. The unexplainable headache led me to believe I was drugged. I grabbed my phone and it was filled with missed calls and a text message from mom. I dialed her number then hung up knowing I was in enough trouble as it was already. I heard Hilda hysterically rush down the stairs right after. She was shocked and relieved at the same time since everyone else was gone. I had passed out on the floor, behind a couch, and apparently no one saw me laying there. Hilda paced around for a bit, then she said: “There’s a girl upstairs. She’s unconscious. Blood is dripping down her face. I don’t know what to do!”

That’s when it all started coming back to me.

As last night got super intense, Bernhard came up with the horrible idea of offering each one of us roofies. I don’t know what I was thinking taking it. I guess I was just curious to see how it would feel. I took one with one of my drinks and when I finished it, I felt nervous because I knew something was going to happen to me. I kept wondering how soon I would feel it which made it even worse. Hilda and Stephen took it too, and were enjoying themselves more than I did. Soon, my eyes closed and I blacked out. I woke up an hour later with no one but a few people around. I headed upstairs to see where Hilda and Stephen went and found them having sex in her bedroom. I watched them from the door crack before I turned to leave, and there she was again, this time standing by the guest room’s door frame, watching me; the mystery girl. She approached me, reached for my hand and took me inside. She pushed me on the bed and got on top of me. My eyes kept closing and opening, letting me see only bits and pieces of the incident. She stripped off her pants and panties, and took mine off too. She spread my legs and stroke my penis until it got hard. I tried resisting, but she was in control, and she wasn’t going to stop. She kissed me all over before reaching for my nipples. She started biting them hard which hurt me. My reaction to that was an impulsive aggravated assault; I kicked her and she fell backwards, hitting her forehead against the nightstand. I got up to see if she was okay, but all I did was take my phone out and take a picture, leaving her in her spot, bleeding and unconscious.

I wasn’t expecting much going to the party, and the night ended up being intense. Hilda asked me to help her hide any physical signs of drug use before calling the police, then asked me to leave to spare me the trouble. “You’re a guy. They’ll think you did it.” Being the one behind the assault, it was the wisest thing for me to do. Thing is: I was the victim in this whole scenario. This girl tried to rape me. When the cops arrived at the residence and investigated the incident, they asked her to give them a list of names of the people who attended the party, and we were all interrogated. My parents asked me to lie and say I was home early which I did.

The girl whose name is Vera Winkowski suffered from a serious head injury which put her in a coma. Doctors don’t know when she’ll wake out of it. Traumatic head injuries usually induce memory loss, so I hope she doesn’t remember anything when she wakes up. Right now, one thing is for sure: Next time, I’ll be more aware of my surroundings and more cognizant of my actions. This whole thing took a toll on me.