December 6, 2013

Many people are afraid of being alone. Not me. My friends are already freaking out about going into our Christmas break. What the hell? It’s not like people can’t see each other outside of school. Everyone I know seems to show a remarkable amount of discomfort when they’re alone. It’s ridiculous. Hilda, for instance, gets extremely upset when I don’t hang out with her. Only when her boyfriend has a night shift, I’ve noticed. We always end up talking on the phone regardless, so I kind of lose either way.

As far as I know, I’m totally capable of being alone for weeks. Even months. There’s a possibility I could be depressed, but who cares? I’ve always been this way. And I don’t see why this should change. I feel much better being on my own. I only want to hang out with people when I’m bored, or when I need something from someone. I don’t see the point in spending time with people unless it means me being accomplished somehow. It’s a total waste of time.

Also, people act like your friend when it’s convenient for them. I’m just a distraction, someone they can complain and talk to to relieve the stress, ask for advice or just feel better about themselves. I know very well how this game goes. You just tell them what they want to hear. I used to be more blunt, and sometimes I still am, but pissing people off isn’t going to do me any good, and I’m not really as much into drama as I used to be. I used to live off people’s miseries. It’s entertaining to watch them struggle. I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way I do. They’re just too afraid to admit it. I’m just more honest about it. No one really gives a crap about anyone. So we’re all the same, and it’s okay. It’s all good.

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